Bad Girls Move in Silence…

Yea so basically, I am planning for the next ninety to one hundred and twenty days of my life.  I have so many things to say, but time always manages to run away from me. But the old saying tis true “action speaks louder than words,” right?!  I have really had a lot of me time and with it I thought, discussed, and now I will plan.

I have shortened the list to specifics that will serve as my back to the future guide ( I did get a little side tracked, but no more).  There are not many details listed here but I read an excellent hashtag today by @skinnyblackgirl #badgirlsmoveinsilence *realist thing I never wrote*

The priorities are in no specific order :

I. Celebrating XXVIII

II. Completing my mentorship project

III. City of Columbus

IV. Sweet Escapes Cupcakery

V. The Break-Up: Bittersweet Memories

Until next time…xoxo

The conversation that hurt a little…

Earlier this week I was catching up with a girlfriend of mine.  She is not the most “grounded” of my friends but her heart is often the most genuine of all.  She was giving me the usual run down of her life family highs and woes, next steps she had planned to take, graduate school, and of course her classic men troubles.  Her men dilemmas are ALWAYS a story bad and good, but this time they were just hilarious.  She has a desire to date what she calls “normal” men instead of her traditional courting of athletes.

As natural occurrence would have it our conversation turned to me and she inquired on my life update, and what was new different I told her what I had been telling everyone else for the most part,” work is ok it could be better, family is well, and New York is New York.”  She then asked about my dating life and I was hesitant to answer her but I proceeded and I said that I am interested in seriously dating again.  She almost dropped the phone, as if it was abnormal for me to say that this was something that was important to me.  Granted if you know me, you are aware that I have dated on and off, loved and lost, but I’ve shown effortless resilience from start to finish of all the heartbreaks that I have endured.  After she gathered her thoughts and controlled her shock (insert a bug-eyed side eye), she then explained that she has always admired my strength of being independent and not relying wanting a man as she feels that she has fallen victim too repetitiously.  She said that she didn’t really see me as the type who was really interested in dating anyone seriously, but “good for you” is what she stated therein after.

There are parts about my life that I am not extremely vocal about, but I honestly have to say that a piece of my cried internally.  It does not sit well with me that I had been viewed as being so “independent” that I do not need or want a companion.

I say all of this to say that if he (who ever that may be) asks me, I am ready…

I believe strongly that perception is everything, but if I am reflecting an attitude that being single and man-less is how I will have my life, leaves me at a complete lost for words.  I mean I am the first to say “trappin ain’t dead!”  I do not mean that in the tacky sense of drug dealing or to encourage someone to do ignorant things to ensure someone remains in their life but in the sense that if you want it, set your heart to it and obtain it {it being your love(r)}

Shoot for the moon…

“Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss you will be amongst the stars” – Les Brown

I thought this was the dumbest quote ever as a child.  As far back as I can remember, when being motivated by father he used this quote repetitively when teaching me to believe that I could achieve anything.   At the tender age of 10 I thought he was crazy.   How could I ever be “amongst the stars”, obviously that is not what he was trying to teach me.    Recently, a few of my e-friends have taken on this “vision board” project and posting their goals and dreams for all to see.   Initially, I thought to myself this is what I have been doing all my life and they were all #latelikeCNN (twitter talk via @missbridge) @leolibrarian (my sister from another mister) can attest to it as well.   Our dad was seriously dedicated to ensuring that we believed that we could do anything.   He use to make us write down our goals, how we’d planned to accomplish them, to visualize them becoming a reality, and then hang them on the wall so that we could see them daily.   He would follow-up with  inquires about our previously discussed goals.   He was always ensuring that we were still on task to making them happen and when ever she had her one-on-one, she would gladly tell him she was focused and well on her way to achieving her goal.   (If you have ever spent more than one hour with my dad then you too have had a one-on one with him.) But this was my vision board for sure.

In the last month I decided to rededicate myself back to (community) service.   As I am humanitarian, I am always concerned about the well-being of others and encouraging the confidence in our youth.   I especially have great interest in young black girls.   When I lived in California, I was once asked by a fifth grader who I use to tutor, “why do you not have any children?” “You are over 21, shouldn’t you be a mom by now, what are you waiting for?” She further went on to explain to me that she has nieces and nephews by her sister who was 22 at the time and that once she turned 18 and graduates from high school she could proceed with a similar “adult” life, at which she was highly anticipating.   My heart broke into a million little pieces listening to her.   All because, I saw how enthusiastic she was to reach her misguided goals  by the year 2012.   Unfortunately, my time was limited with her but I often wonder how she is and what she is doing now that she is in high school.

I am now a mentor, to three 11 year old black girls, who are all full of life, very fashion forward (so they say), innocent, inquisitive, yet still are very precious.   When I talk to them about life and goals, they only see the immediate things, report cards, friends birthday parties, the next few weeks at the after school program, which is not uncommon in most girls their age.   I am relieved to know that kids are not on their to-do-list and boys come up here and there but are usually followed with a “he is annoying” or “he makes me sick”.   (Insert sigh of relief)  Since they are an ambitious bunch I have decided to give them the opportunity that I was given as a child from my father, but in the same way as my e-friends have done so for themselves, by having them create a vision board.  When I explained the project to them they were immediately excited, they wrote down all the various things they wanted to have on their boards and even began to sketch what it could look like.    Having worked with my fair share of youth this would have to be one of the most fulfilling times I have bore witness to.  In these girls I saw some their worlds light up with complete joy because they are going to be sharing who they are and what it is that they want out of life in the future. This is one of the proudest moments I have ever had in my life,  why because it was not about me, but somebody else.

They have no idea, but they will all be receiving bookmarks with that quote on it at the completion of their vision boards.  I am so very excited for what the future holds for them.

Oh dear Haiti…

I hope you can hear this prayer.

I will always remember your sorrows.

I pray that God grants you peace, serenity, and rapid but efficient assistance.

I pray that the privileged do not forgo the opportunity to bless those in time of struggle.

What have I done…

donated to Yele by texting “Yele 501 501” to donate my contribution was $5 or you have the an additional option of texting “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10.

Lastly, you can log onto Yele to donate online if you choose to.

KenyaCherie this one is for you and every one who you know and love…

My view on Love…

So as I sat and listened to this Trey Songz One Love song that I’ve always been fond of, but for some reason I today, I hear him clearly state “…you are all I need and I’ll never let go…” That is what some would say is a pretty heavy and emotionally driven statement.  But when I reflect back over who I am and the type of love I give and receive, I find that these words comes naturally to me.  I do not know how to love any different from what he is referencing in those few lyrics of this song.  So I see the type of passion he is singing about as being pretty simple and the standard for what it really means to give someone your all.  I am not saying that love does not have its own requirements i.e.  complications, compromises, dedication, patience, etc or that is extremely easy, but I am stating that the love I know is rooted in my desire to give my all.

Every person who I have shared my love with can attest that my passion to love is the core of what I have to offer whether it is a  close friendship or an intimate dating relationship.  Did I think all of the relationships I had would end in a marriage or forever partnership?  No because love is blind and one cannot see where it is going to go.  However, I also know that people come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime.  As for the love given in my friendships, it proves that I am constantly compassionate and loyal. Ultimately, no matter what point of entry or exit one has had with me, I still gave my all to show that their time was appreciated while I had the chance.  Saying thank you for the lessons learned after the credits rolled and everyone has had their exited point in my life,  not so much, but the gratitude and passion when I was present and able to give it alongside them, was inevitably there.

Interesting enough love also has timing in my life that is damn near impeccable and always most unpredictable.  But I am absolutely not complaining about it, for it is welcome in my heart but only of it plans to stay a while. Until then love knows I will be waiting…

Here goes nothing…

Ok, so today, I decided that I would go public with my thoughts.  Daily, I log on to the seven internets and explore other peoples thoughts.  Leaving their domains either in agreement or expound on the topic in which they discussed. Or I find myself in a full-out chuckle because something is purely entertaining to me and I cannot sustain from laughter. (I am very easily entertained, at both in/appropriate times)  But today is a different day in the blog world, today is my first day and I am going to publically share my world with you…